Potential... Disco Balls and Unicorns
The subject of potential and goal setting might seem obvious to some people, but I am 32 years old this year and I am still learning about myself when it comes to these two hot potatoes!
Potential is defined as: 'having or showing the capacity to develop into something in the future'.
People talk a lot about Potential. I talk a lot about Potential. I also spend a lot of time trying to realise my potential. I set goals and I work hard to focus on them.
We all believe that we have the potential. We all believe that we have the capacity to develop into ‘something’ in the future. It is a deeply seated human need to believe that we are capable of progression.
Potential is defined as: 'having or showing the capacity to develop into something in the future'.
People talk a lot about Potential. I talk a lot about Potential. I also spend a lot of time trying to realise my potential. I set goals and I work hard to focus on them.
We all believe that we have the potential. We all believe that we have the capacity to develop into ‘something’ in the future. It is a deeply seated human need to believe that we are capable of progression.
If you subscribe to Darwin’s theories of Evolution you may want to skip my attempt to sell this idea to you in the next sentence... if however, you refute the evidence and theories that Darwin proposed and are struggling for context then instead look at life itself for inspiration. We, as human beings, start out as tiny little flesh sacks totally incapable of containing our own bodily fluids for any reasonable period of time and yet we manage to transform into a walking, talking, emotionally aware, independent adults (for the most part anyway).
Progression is very natural, it is therefore only natural that we concern ourselves with our potential.
What interests me the most about potential is the ‘something’ element of this equation because I find it can get very complicated defining goals. I know it shouldn’t be, but I manage to make it so. I have fallen foul of this plenty of times in the past and I imagine a few more complications await me before I finally check out of this intriguing existence.
The trouble I have with complications is that they frustrate me. I don't like thinking about complicated things for too long because when I do my brain explodes. Not only is this painful but the cleanup job is horrendous and Winston never fails to take advantage of an opportunity to add to his already rapidly growing list of disgusting eating habits.
This is usually where the motivational experts jump in and say, simplify the goal! Which is relevant, to a point.
Simple goals are easier to achieve and from personal experience, this has definitely helped me achieve more of my goals in the past. However, this doesn’t address or explain the feeling of emptiness I get sometimes upon reaching a goal. I build the goal up so much in my head that when I get there, I am expecting some kind of monster-budget-utopian-fanfare like you get at the end of computer game after completing it (Call of Duty: Black Ops would have done nicely). Even on the rare occasions that I am greeted by a momentary appearance of glittering disco balls, dancing Bears and flying unicorns to help celebrate my achievements, there is always a bog standard Monday morning or a glum sopping wet Tuesday evening just around the corner to bring me back to reality.
There is a very fundamental problem with making goals the source of happiness. The very nature of a goal is that it is achievable, measurable and ultimately definitive (meaning that they end when you complete them). The very nature of goals mean that I will lose my sense of purpose when I complete them, which doesn't feel great. Some people notoriously cope with this 'downer' by setting another goal, one that is even harder to reach, but it doesn’t solve the problem - it just drags it out.
Don’t get me wrong, I am a massive fan of goal setting but what I am slowly beginning to learn is that potential does not relate to our ability to achieve goals or create dramas in which we can overcome, it relates to our ability to separate our goals from our happiness so that they become independent from one another -which sounds counterintuitive, right?
If we let it, our happiness could be derived from our journey rather than some perceived point in the future that we define as our goals.
Have you ever heard someone say “I won't be happy until I achieve that milestone”. Where is the sense in that? What is stopping us from being happy on the journey to the milestone? The journey is always with us -in the now- and if we can derive happiness from the present we put ourselves in a much better place to trash each and every one of the milestones we set ourselves in the future. Perhaps, more importantly, we can start seeing our milestones (goals) for what they really are -trivial points in time manifested to create a false sense of significance.
Our potential does not relate to our ability to achieve goals, our potential relates to our evolving ability to enjoy the moment - including but not exclusively consisting of the goals we work so hard for!
I wrote this piece because these thoughts have been on my mind quite a lot lately. I have been undergoing a lot of personal transformation since the birth of my daughter (which involved -and still does- a lot of goal setting and realisation of potential) and I can honestly say that my awareness of my journey has given me way more motivation to explore my potential than I ever had before!
Thanks Amélie x
Progression is very natural, it is therefore only natural that we concern ourselves with our potential.
What interests me the most about potential is the ‘something’ element of this equation because I find it can get very complicated defining goals. I know it shouldn’t be, but I manage to make it so. I have fallen foul of this plenty of times in the past and I imagine a few more complications await me before I finally check out of this intriguing existence.
This is usually where the motivational experts jump in and say, simplify the goal! Which is relevant, to a point.
Simple goals are easier to achieve and from personal experience, this has definitely helped me achieve more of my goals in the past. However, this doesn’t address or explain the feeling of emptiness I get sometimes upon reaching a goal. I build the goal up so much in my head that when I get there, I am expecting some kind of monster-budget-utopian-fanfare like you get at the end of computer game after completing it (Call of Duty: Black Ops would have done nicely). Even on the rare occasions that I am greeted by a momentary appearance of glittering disco balls, dancing Bears and flying unicorns to help celebrate my achievements, there is always a bog standard Monday morning or a glum sopping wet Tuesday evening just around the corner to bring me back to reality.
There is a very fundamental problem with making goals the source of happiness. The very nature of a goal is that it is achievable, measurable and ultimately definitive (meaning that they end when you complete them). The very nature of goals mean that I will lose my sense of purpose when I complete them, which doesn't feel great. Some people notoriously cope with this 'downer' by setting another goal, one that is even harder to reach, but it doesn’t solve the problem - it just drags it out.
Don’t get me wrong, I am a massive fan of goal setting but what I am slowly beginning to learn is that potential does not relate to our ability to achieve goals or create dramas in which we can overcome, it relates to our ability to separate our goals from our happiness so that they become independent from one another -which sounds counterintuitive, right?
If we let it, our happiness could be derived from our journey rather than some perceived point in the future that we define as our goals.
Have you ever heard someone say “I won't be happy until I achieve that milestone”. Where is the sense in that? What is stopping us from being happy on the journey to the milestone? The journey is always with us -in the now- and if we can derive happiness from the present we put ourselves in a much better place to trash each and every one of the milestones we set ourselves in the future. Perhaps, more importantly, we can start seeing our milestones (goals) for what they really are -trivial points in time manifested to create a false sense of significance.
Our potential does not relate to our ability to achieve goals, our potential relates to our evolving ability to enjoy the moment - including but not exclusively consisting of the goals we work so hard for!
Thanks Amélie x
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