Father & Son

I had planned to publish this blog on my Son's first birthday but yet another bout of the flu wiped me out this week! Better late than never though :)

My son Sebastian recently turned a year old. When I first found out that I was going to be a father again, I was naturally a very happy man. My first born Amélie is four this year and whilst I admit I found fatherhood difficult to start with, I got with the program eventually. Eventually... 

It's tough for any new mum and dad to cope with the demands of a baby for the first time, but what I found out this time around is that it does get easier. Yes, that was a joke! I can just picture the rage on my wife's face as she read that last sentence.

Having said this, I am not going to dwell on the hardships of being a parent in this blog... I presume that neither of us has that amount of time or mental energy to spare... Instead, I wanted to talk about the special relationship that exists between father & son. 

As a young boy, my dad taught me that life is full of possibilities waiting to be explored. He also taught me that exploring is a tricky business and that plenty of people would be out there ready to tell me where I can and can't go. My dad never knew what I would end up doing with my life, no more than I did, and he certainly didn't have any preordained plans for me but I am pretty certain that he wanted me to have options- specifically, more options than he had. 

I admire my dad's sentiment and to this day his teachings about the importance of education and belief in one's self remain core to my personality. My dad wasn't without flaws and was by no means the perfect father but what he was able to foster in me was the confidence to journey into the unknown. It's only now at the 'tender' age of 34 that I can appreciate how well this confidence has served me over the years.

 

I am grateful to my dad for his teachings and I plan to pass them onto my son Sebastian- with some additions of my own. You see, my dad grew up hearing the word 'no' a lot, he was often told he couldn't do this or that and he seized upon education as an enabler to prove people wrong. He worked hard and took a lot of pleasure in getting what he wanted out of life- particularly if he achieved things others said he couldn't. I admire this and I recognise elements of his personality in mine because, like my Dad, a lot of what I have achieved has typically been from a position of disadvantage or against the odds.

Whilst I am sure Sebastian will face his fair share of naysayers in life, the culture that he will have to contend with is very different to the one my dad and I had to face. The digital world that we live in today has all but torn down the previous artificial limitations imposed by Society. We live in a connected world where collaboration, creativity and free speech is supercharged by a global repository of open information and data that is growing exponentially every day. Sebastian will be limited only by his attitude and aptitude and his biggest challenge will be that of distraction. This is a progress in my mind, but this isn't to say that this new world doesn't bring it's own challenges for young people. 

With unending possibilities, the focus will be hard to come by. Even at the best of times, the focus is a difficult state of mind to achieve. I don't necessarily have all the answers for Sebastian on this front but I am looking forward to supporting him through the tough times as well as toasting the happy ones. My dad and I were robbed of these father & son experiences when he died 21 years ago. Whilst I know that I will never have my dad back, through Sebastian I do however have a second chance to experience the love between father & son -albeit with the roles reversed. 

Life is cruel, so I can't promise Sebastian that I will be there for him every step of the way. Even if I manage to stay out of mischief there will still be occasions when Sebastian feels alone and up against it. During those times, I hope he can gain some strength and guidance from three very simple principles I have given a lot of thought to...

1. Focus on what you want out of life and accept that this may change from time to time. Happiness will guide you, trust it. 
2. Once you have made your choice, believe in yourself, apply yourself, push through pain, setbacks and negative people. Only stop when your pursuit makes you unhappy. 
3. Whatever you choose to do with your life, your dad loves you. 

Thanks for Reading,

Chancey